Learning to Drive

     It’s hard to follow your dream when you don’t exactly know what that dream is. In today's crazy fast tracked world, where people literally claw each other down to reach the higher rung on the ladder of life, the one thing that helps the ‘Drive’ is ‘Passion’. What then happens when you don’t know what it is exactly, that you are passionate about? 

     How many of us have been asked the question: where do you see yourself 5-10 years from today? Hell, where do you see yourself this time, tomorrow?" Is there a picture of the future you in your mind's eye? Or is it a huge scary blank? 

Not everyone has a roadmap  to their future, not everyone knows where it is they want to go all the time. Standing at a crossroads sometimes is the best place to be and then again there are the times when choice proves to be a double edged sword and we remain unsure of which end to be most afraid of.  

So when and more importantly, how does the mist that fogs your looking glass clear? What are the right questions you should ask yourself and where are the right places to look for answers. Well, how about this, maybe you don't need to have all the answers right now. Maybe you don't need to be in control all the time. Maybe the journey of finding your final destination is what makes it worthwhile when you reach there.

     So let's try something new for a change, shall we? Lets take life to be a car that's moving full speed forward.

Where to… We don't know 

Who is in the driver's seat … We're not sure  

Are we there yet … Hell No !

Lost

          As children we have the wildest imaginations, the strangest beliefs and an uncommonly high level of faith in the impossible. We are more than ready to believe in a “Fairy” who likes to collect ‘teeth.’ We don’t feel a bit sorry for a fat considerably old man who has to travel around the world in a single night giving every child a gift. What then happens to us? Where exactly do we stop believing in the impossible? Is ‘growing up’ really an answer for this sudden loss of faith?

          When I watched toy story with my older sister I remember waking up in the middle of the night hoping to catch my toys enjoying a tea party or something like that. When Harry potter and the sorcerers stone (the book) came out, I remember believing in magic. I was exactly 11 years old and a small part of me really wanted an owl to come to my house with a letter from Hogwarts.

          As I grew older I saw my belief turn into hope. Things I was absolutely certain of at one point in time began to be shaded with the evil of doubt. Its a sad truth that once doubt begins to set into your mind it is extremely irksome pest that is hard to get rid of. You begin to rationalize every pure miracle that you see.
 I still believe in Magic I see it in nature everyday, all you have to do is take of those blindfolds of doubt and maybe you would see it too.

          As a child I wished for my eyes to magically turn blue. I wished that a close relative of mine was actually a King. I wished animals could speak. I wished mermaids and Dragons were real. I wished that maybe somewhere... there was a small country made of chocolate.

What did you wish for…?

MALFUNCTION !

Writers block as defined by Wikipedia is a condition, associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work, or as I fondly like to call it “Help my brain is freaking me out, it just refuses to work!”

When staring at the curser on a blank screen actually becomes interesting, you know your brain has given up for the time being. In such situations banging your laptop shut and throwing heavy stuff around the house, is not the brightest of solutions. Eating tons of delicious ice cream and fried stuff while watching old British movies, for some weird reason fails to provide the necessary inspiration.

It’s quite frightening really, when you realize those irritating taunts from siblings and bullies calling you a dodo, or some other extinct dumb creature are actually true. Your brain has in complete reality reached a stage which points at ‘empty.’  I am not really sure what the various steps are that one follows to overcome this feeling of pure uselessness, I suppose there are many. A few that I have tried, include banging my head on a semi hard surface till I couldn’t feel the surface on that part of my head anymore. I have tried draining mugs of coffee staying up for hours thinking perhaps that stinging feeling in my eyes would induce some form of creativity.

Sadly all that these experiments led to were bruised heads the damage of which could possibly be long lasting and a very strong chance of requiring glasses in the near future.  The final step that I tried at was… well writing about it… guess it worked.

Holding on

We live in world that moves at its own crazy pace. It doesn’t wait for the slow to catch up, or for the wounded to heal. It runs forward, not allowing us a chance to sit for a moment and look back. In such a world we are taught not to get too attached to places, not to get too fond of people. Sometimes however just like little children, we simply decide not to listen. We form bonds… strong firm bonds ones that are not easy to break. We start sharing parts of our own time with others, creating memories. We start allowing other things other people to mean something to us.

So when the time comes to leave, to move ahead with the world, we can’t help wanting to hold on, if only for a little longer. There is a weight on the heart at the thought of separation that refuses to lift. The word goodbye looses meaning cause no matter how many times you say it you are just not ready to simply let go.

Forgotten Yesterdays

Its quite weird how you forget the good times you had yesterday the moment you seem to have an interesting tomorrow to look forward to. It’s funny how easily you forget the importance of someone in your life, how you are more than ready to have them replaced without much of a second thought. The times shared together the laughter, the tears, the good times the bad all get pushed to a far end of the brain and the memories turn fuzzy and dim. A bond once considered sacred turns fragile and brittle. A friendship once considered Golden turns to a dull depressing brown.

              Its only when you get a chance to relive a part of your yesterday even for a little while do you realise how much you are actually missing. I had a chance to relive my yesterdays for a little while today. I had a chance to salvage those bonds on the brink of collapse I had a chance to make my yesterdays a part of my tomorrow.

             

Maybe William Wordsworth is right !!

They say live each moment as if it were your last right!! What does that mean exactly?? Grab every opportunity that comes your way so you don’t miss out on something special? I tried that I really did and guess what it DOESN’T WORK. I have realised recently that I have been sooo busy grabbing all those Stupid God forsaken so called ‘opportunities’ that pass by, that I haven’t had a proper chance to just simply live “my life.” I mean come on I can’t even remember the last time I just sat by myself and did nothing, the last time I just had a chance to drift into a daydream of nothingness. Every time something ends something new has to begin. Time seems to pass by soo fast it’s not funny any more. You are taught the importance of prioritization that something important has to always come before something else you prefer. Sacrifice becomes your new life mantra and the end result is frustration.

So I think its ok to miss that one opening, it is ok to skip that one thing you think is SOO important, it is ok to take some time out from your life and just LIVE!!